How To Talk About Suicide
- Nicole Washburn
- Jun 24
- 3 min read

Talking about suicide is hard and fear-inducing. Unfortunately, as suicide rates continue to rise, having these hard conversations is the key to saving lives. So, how do we talk about suicide? Who do we talk to about suicide? Where do we go for help when we need it?
Having an open dialogue with your kids, spouse, friends, and family can be helpful in creating the opportunities to talk about suicide. Asking about how people are feeling, rather than asking how they are doing, can help generate responses other than the Midwest go to of “Good,” “Okay,” or “Living the dream.” Expressing your own feelings and anxieties can also help others know you are a safe place to talk about theirs.
When talking about suicide, be direct, especially if you are seeing warning signs. Talking about suicide or asking someone if they are having suicidal thoughts will not increase the risk of a suicide attempt.
Warning Signs:
Talking about being a burden
Isolating from others
Talking about feeling trapped
Sudden or Extreme changes in mood
If someone that is severely depressed is suddenly happy and expressing joy it is important to ask about suicide because, sometimes, people who have decided to attempt suicide feel a sense of peace at having made their decision.
Giving away belongings
Suddenly expressing gratitude or sincere emotions towards others when this is out of character
Writing suicide notes
Talking about wanting to die
Posting about wanting to die on social media
When we notice potential warning signs, what do we do with the information? First, ask the person directly if they are thinking about suicide or want to be dead. Step two: listen. Step three: assist the person in accessing professional help.
Reflective or active listening is a great tool when talking about emotions. Give the person your full attention, respond with empathy, ask questions, and summarize what they have been saying to you, to confirm your understanding of what they have been telling you. Finally, respond mindfully.
How to respond mindfully:
Show concern; statements that appear to brush off how a person is feeling could end the conversation.
“That sounds rough”
“That must be really difficult”
Do not judge or respond in a way that implies judgement. This could cause the person to shut down and view you as an unsafe person.
“I wouldn’t do that”
“It’s a sin;”
“You’ll go to hell”
“Suicide is selfish”
“That is really stupid”
If someone is emotional or panicking do not tell them to calm down as this is rarely effective.
Unless asked, do not try to solve the problem or give advice on how to “fix it.” Most of the time people just need someone to listen.
Co-regulation is another tool when talking with someone experiencing suicidal thoughts. It also helps you remain calm. Rather than telling the other person how to cope or calm down, make statements about safe, accessible ways you cope and do them at that time: “Man, I really need to take some deep breaths,” followed by taking 3-5 deep breaths can prompt the other person to do the same.
Resources for help:
If someone’s life is in danger or they have attempted suicide, call 911 immediately or take them to the nearest Emergency Room.
For a crisis session or Mobile Crisis Response in Brown, Doniphan, Nemaha, or Jackson County, Kansas, call (785)742-36662 .
Call or text 9883 for any crisis support, including suicidal thoughts.
For the Veteran’s Line select option 1 via phone or text 83825
Suicide Hotline for LGBTQIA+4
Call 1-866-488-7386
For Chat/Text: Text START to 678-678
Final Thoughts: Ask questions even when you are afraid of the answer, reach out for help when you or someone else needs it, and know that there is always someone to listen, even in the darkest times.
Comments